Week 29

It's been awhile since the last entry and all I can say is time is moving by so quickly.

Over the past couple of weeks British Columbia's southern west coast has been slammed with some really unusual weather - hurricane force wind storms and snow. Because we are not equipped for this type of weather, many people are stuck at home when the snow piles up too high-basically waiting for the snow to melt. The toughest thing for most people is the loss of electricity and missing work - and of course any damage to their homes/vehicles etc from falling trees and branches.

Jordan removing a small tree blocking our driveway as we race to the ferry...

Jordan and I are both hoping that everything weather wise returns to normal and that we can get back to regular work.

I discussed my B. Hicks with my midwife and she felt that I had done the right thing on those few days that they were unusual, close together and accompanied by the cramping and low backache. I had just taken it easy, put my feet up and used a heating pad for most of the day. She said that sometimes when the head is already down and there is pressure on the cervix, it may become stimulated enough to start contractions. We don't want that now, do we? Too early! When I told my sister about that, she reminded me that all three of her children arrived early - 2 weeks, 3 weeks and then 2 months early!

As far as the B.Hicks; many women never even notice them until the last few weeks of pregnancy, but some women who are more sensitive to their body may feel them much sooner. Throughout the entire pregnancy, a woman will have the Braxton Hicks every 20 minutes! It is just the body's way of becoming stronger and preparing itself for birthing at the end. Our bodies are so amazing!

My belly growth has been, overall, slow but consistent. The baby is still incredibly active, especially as we lay down at night to sleep. The movements are so big that my breath is sometimes taken away or I will gasp in surprise. It feels like I have either an octopus inside me or just a pair of big strong legs. We are able to feel the legs and back now (i grab at them sometimes) and the hands feel like little tickles and flutters down around my pubic bone.

Now, in my seventh month, I have many of the physical symptoms of pregnancy. Shortness of breath, acid reflux, restless leg at night, calf cramping and great fluctuations in energy levels - from speedy nesting and cleaning urges to totally drained. Also, some of that long ago 16 year old rollercoster of emotional ups and downs has revisited - this time, however, with the maturity of a 30 year old, I know how to handle this state of hormonal flux. I let those tears come and the emotions surge, with no expectations. I don't analyze or hold onto them; I let them go without a second thought. I don't dump the garbage on anyone and especially not myself. In a society so afraid to age, so afraid to slow down and celebrate the aging self, it all seems kind of crazy to me. All those tears of a teenage girl, the speediness of the early twenties; it was all necessary, but nothing I would want to relive again! A deep rooted confidence has grown from my earlier experiences, less is more has become more meaningful - instead of a million friends and a load of socialising, I put greater energy into the few that I really connect with on a deeper level. This realisation came when I made decisions about who to invite to our wedding. I did so much reevaluation of friendships from the past and I ended up only inviting my dearest friends of forever and then the ones of more recent. How will I look back when I am 40, 50, 60? I hope that I can still look back as fondly as I do now, yet with more confidence and more growth and living behind me, always celebrating the aging process. When I am older I can see myself laughing out and yelling 'HOT FLASH' for everyone to hear, like my mother in law, or groaning and complaining of a sore back or ear hairs, like my dad, so that when I visit I give him massages and trim his hair...

Speaking of celebrating aging, among my many odd thoughts and incessant daydreaming in this final trimester, an odd concern came to my mind from who knows where and what. I am planning on having only one child, yet that 'plan' has flip flopped many times throughout this pregnancy for both Jordan and I. My thought the other day was - well, if I have only one child, that may not give me many grandchildren and it would be nice to have grandchildren one day! Ohh, the pregnant mind is a marvelous and complex phenomena.

'They say' you are forever changed when you have a baby. I say that being pregnant has temporarily (hopefully) altered my mind. I have never been so self absorbed, never daydreamed so much; I haven't even read any fiction novels in months. Just baby books. When I would always listen to CBC radio docs and then talk about them with Jordan, I just zone out and only on occasion have I followed any of the stories. Poor Jordan yet good Jordan for being so loving and patient. That's just one example. I guess when you are sharing your body with someone (baby) other than yourself, you are self absorbed - just as in the act of sex - but this is full time.